10 crucial things you need to know if you love an extrovert

Sometimes, it seems as if too much attention is paid to introverts and their characteristics: there are articles published constantly about how to interact with them without harming their fragile mentality; there are artists, musicians, writers and photographers out there who expressly try to tailor their creativity exclusively for the introverts…

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For our part, we’ve also written about our love for introverts. This is why we decided to bring some balance and to offer you this article, which goes some way to remind us of just how wonderful extroverts can be as well.

1. Extroverts don’t develop close relations with just anybody

And here is surprising discovery number one. Yes, we can have hundreds of acquaintances, friends, people we can drink beer and have a chat with, but we extroverts can still count the number of close friends we have on the fingers of one hand. That side of our character which people around us can mistake for an amazing degree of openness is not, in fact, what it seems. You’ll find that most of the things extroverts willingly share about themselves in a conversation is freely available information. We can share it without serious consequences and without fear of it spreading, simply because, most likely, you are by far not the only one who knows about it. Extroverts understand that real trust has to be earned over time, and — more importantly — by reciprocity.

2. Extroverts don’t need to be with their loved ones all the time

Do you remember those pictures where a poor and unhappy introvert is cowering in a crystal ball, and a nasty extrovert is reaching out for him trying to shake him out, hug him tight and talk his head off? Well, we are not maniacs. We are not going to try and squeeze words out of you and make you love us love by hook or by crook. And we definitely are not going to stick to you tightly and start dragging you with us everywhere, clinging to you like grim death. We don’t need it, simply because we are fuelled by talking with interaction with a variety of people — therefore you can never become our sole contact on earth.

Of course, we would like to spend more time with the people we love most of all. But extroverts have quite a good idea of personal space and time. Besides — here’s surprising discovery number two — sometimes we like just to have quiet time with our sweethearts. No — really.

3. Extroverts like to listen, not just talk

Some people think that an «extrovert» and a «talker» are synonyms. We like to talk, that’s true. But feedback is much more important for us — the reaction of the people we are talking with, their opinions and replies. It takes two to have a dialogue, and the need to talk non-stop does not give us more energy; on the contrary, it depletes our resources. The essence of a contact between an extrovert and his environment is exchange, and exchange means getting feedback from both sides.

4. An extrovert and an egoist are not the same thing

For a lot of people, they think of an extrovert as akin to an obsessive talker who never shuts up and has tonnes of stories solely about his or herself. Let’s face the truth: anybody can be excessively focused solely on his or herself, irrespective of their personality type. And among introverts you can find quite a lot of people totally unable to think about anybody’s comfort except their own. They of course have an indisputable excuse: «I am an introvert, I am very introspective, I can’t help it.» Extroverts simply need to be more attentive to others; we need to build up our communication after all. And caring for loved ones often becomes a priority for an extrovert.

Generally, if your partner to does not pay any attention to your opinion or your well-being, it does not mean that he or she must be either an extrovert or an introvert. Most likely, they are just narcissistic!

5. Extroverts can be vulnerable

A delicate psyche is not necessarily a characteristic of an introvert. Yes, extroverts are able to turn a deaf ear, not to take too much to heart; we can filter the information we receive from other people and grasp what is most significant, without attaching much importance to other people’s emotions. But we are not thick-skinned elephants; we are not impenetrable. And with regards to our nearest and dearest — for the people we trust — we are particularly vulnerable, because they know our weaknesses too well.

6. Extroverts are well-disposed towards introverts

Where is it written that an extrovert and an introvert cannot get along? On the contrary, extremes meet and can coexist quite peacefully. Sometimes an introvert needs a shake-up, and an extrovert wants nothing but a quiet evening with his sweetheart. They could be good company. Only sometimes each of them might need his own way to recharge his batteries: solitude for an introvert and communication with other people for an extrovert. If you want to build harmonious relationships, you simply need to understand that the world should not close up around the two of you. This understanding is not based on introversion or extraversion, but on simple common sense and mutual respect.

7. Extroverts suffer during crises

Unfortunately, difficult situations occur in all our lives, and if an extrovert is burned out, most often he is burned to ashes. The thing is that we, unlike the introverts, do not have inexhaustible internal resources, giving us strength in critical moments. We are in permanent search for external sources, and if the system fails for any reason, restoration can be quite painful. We are not inclined to excessive soul-searching, this is why it is not easy to knock us down, but when it happens, we need a lot of time and effort and quite often other people’s sympathy to get back on our feet.

8. Extroverts don’t like all kinds of people

Moreover, let me tell you a secret: extroverts in general don’t like people so much. And if a stranger rushes over to hug you, he is not an extrovert, he is just weird. Avoid him.

Extroverts love communication. Communication is our way of existence. Some of us cannot stand noisy parties and large companies, but spend infinite time chatting on the internet. Sure, we don’t like just anybody. Sympathies and antipathies are connected with character traits, education, common interests and other very diverse factors, and not with an individual’s personality type.

9. Extroverts are not shallow

There is a deep-rooted myth that a rich inner world is the prerogative only of introverts. This is like attributing the sweet taste of an orange to its orange colour. Extraversion does not interfere with being well-read, well-educated, versatile and erudite. A love for communication and its absence are simply a part of an individual’s personality, which is not in any way connected with their intellectual and spiritual development.

10. You are special if you are chosen by an extrovert

Or an introvert. In fact, every relationship is special, and you should not make a religion out of your personality type. It is good if you are armed with knowledge about your partner’s character. But it is much better if you are driven by love and desire to take care of your partner. Eventually, it is love that helps us overcome all difficulties. It has been proven by time, and by the experience of millions of happy couples.
Inspiration: Anastasia Kostyugova

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